Saturday, September 26, 2009

Living in the Days of Awe

Friday September 18, 2009

New moon
Jewish New Year 5007
Another revolution around the sun for me

I love it when things come in threes: very synchronistic, very "makes me pay more attention". Not to mention the iconic Holy Trinity, although it is not my tribe.

So the fact that my birthday coincided with the new moon AND the beginning of the Jewish New Year made me still, actually.

The ten days starting with Rosh Hashanah & ending with Yom Kippur are also called the Days of Awe or Days of Repentance. It is a time for serious introspection, a time to consider the sins of the previous year & repent in time for Yom Kippur.


I take these "days" very much to heart. I love the tradition, which usually means food. This holiday really connects me with my heritage, my roots. It brings me much closer to my spirit. It brings together the G-d within & the G-d without.

One of the ongoing themes of this period is the concept that G-d has "books" in which our name is written, who will live, die, who will have a good life or bad year the coming year ... huge awe! The books are written on Rosh Hashanah but can be altered by our actions during these "days".

These "books" are sealed on Yom Kippur, hence the traditional greeting of "may you be well inscribed & sealed in the book of life".


Among the customs of this time, it is common to seek reconciliation with people you may have wronged during the course of the year. The Talmud maintains that Yom Kippur atones only for sins between man and G-d. To atone for sins against another person, you must first seek reconciliation with that person, righting the wrongs you committed against them if possible.

A bit like "AA", only once a year.

As we approach Sunday night, Yom Kippur, upon reflection, I feel that this year has really been one of genuine, soul-driven reconciliation & acceptance. Of self. Friends. Family.

Summer '09 was the ultimate "Summer of Love". Vic first had an emotional reunion with his 3 Marine buddies. That was followed up by the visits of his daughters, Angie & Shay, together with children & spouse.

We played "the Waltons" for nearly 3 months June thru September. Three generations, 12 of us, cohabitating, coexisting & surviving in a spandexable 2,000 sq. ft., of a/c living space! Non-stop music, laughter, food sonsumption, movement, diaper & formula runs. Furtive 10 minute escapes for Shay & I to the local drive-through for fountain sodas. Every moment an adventure - in patience, in love, in hope ...


All the grandchildren (1 year thru 14) had the summer of their lives. Grandparents, uncles & aunt. We would certainly confuse on our rare group outings.

I would occasionally belt out "don't you wish your grandma was as much fun as me!" to the pleading cries of "stop, please, you're embarrasing me!"

In between the madness & occasional sadness, Shay & I laughed so hard at some of the smallest things - a look shared across a room of a moment that only we noticed - those were the best! We laughed at lifes' daily surprises, "blessings" not for us to understand ...

"Bless our dear hearts!"

I know what THAT means now!!! I been told!!!

So, who did I wrong this year? Hmmmm ... pause to ponder ...

Perhaps Mrs. B at Kaelin's school warrants an apology. She was seriously in the wrong place at the wrong time. She sort of really pissed me off (with attitude, I must add) at the very apex of an extremely vulnerable moment of realization for me.

Take no prisoners. I jumped over her head & asked the Principal to handle it on my weeping behalf. I actually asked Mrs. H to direct me to an empty room. She practically shoved me into the supply closet next to her desk, where upon I began to weep huge, copious tears & just started speaking in tongues, I am sure.

I'll send in cup cake offerings with apologies & explanations to school on Tuesday with Kaelin.

I might also look into one of those rubber bracelets that warns people of my occasional need to "SNAP" - then move on. I think a really cool shade of cobalt would be nice.

"PTS" Prone To

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I know the coming year will have its fare share of challenges. I still need to have a few more talks with G-d before tomorrow nights' sunset but I have a lot of faith, trust & hope that it is all as it is meant to be. I may not like much of what has gone one but I have always, ALWAYS had the trust that it is as it should be. Destiny, fate, life is fickle & in the end, it is between us & our G-d anyway.

At least, that is my belief.


I pray for health, happiness & peace - all so vital for a life well lived. I pray this for myself, my family, all the people who touch our lives & those yet to be ...

May EVERYONE be well inscribed.

Happy New Year.

L'Shana Tova.

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