To Vic ...

I was going through some of my writings when I found this. I do not even remember writing it so it came as a complete surprise reading it, although it is so authentically me. It was written on his first anniversary, even though I absolutely hate that particular word in this context.

It’s been one year since you closed your eyes,
Deep in sleep from which there is no wake.
A crystal tear,
The faintest of kiss is how you said good bye,
Never did I love you more. Alone, just you & I.
When the time had come, your time to go, there were no words
Between us left unsaid. So you exhaled,
A final sigh. Still your spirit filled the room.
As it fills my heart when I miss you so it hurts.
To the southwestern sky, in the dark of the night,
My eyes remain ever fixed.
The place you told me Was your home.

Night after night, I sit & stare, waiting for a sign.
Yet it’s your voice rings loud & clear.
“I am with you right now, I am here, Babydoll,
You just close your eyes.
For everything you seek, you cannot see.
It’s what you feel that’s true. I am here, beside you now,
A part of the breeze that blows.
I am a part of each gnarly limb of our beautiful oak tree,
A sentinel at your door. I am the salts in your bath,
The hanky you clutch at night when you reach out for me.
I like to think I’m what helps make you feel
Calm when you have your nightly cuppa tea.
Most of all, I live on in memories created,
A full life well lived.

A great adventure that you & I shared.
My energy is always just the merest of thoughts away.
Lonely but never alone.
With love & gratitude, peace & joy
I urge you your life to live on.”

You left a space, not to be replaced,
We all miss you so very much.
Just want you to know, you were,
You remain
The heart of our life, our family,
Our home.

.