Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Going manic ...

In a small attempt to reenter the world of people, I became more aware than ever how very fatigued I still get.

It is remains confusing how, nearly 16 months later, I am still only just moving out of shock & numb, acceptance was never an issue. Now my eyes are beginning to open, even as my vision is still blurry.

I am starting some new experiences. I have added Qi Gong to my ever fluid exercise regime. I hate getting bored. I couldn't bring myself back to yoga as wonderful as it was for me in the past. A new & fun friend teaches two classes a week at 7.30 am which is a perfect time for me. Just after dropping off Kaelin, I go right to the gym. Somehow, within moments, the muted lights & gentle music serenely moves me & my body through space, shifting energy around, in & through me.

On the other hand, 180 degrees from that, I have started shooting lessons & I love it. Me & Mrs. Walter P22! I feel that we are going to become very close friends. I got such a huge rush when I was in the range. Headphone, feet grounded, knees slightly bent, locking, loading & shooting! 100 rounds, all in the "kill zone" of my Ronald Reagan lookalike, life size target. My furtherest shots were at 60 feet, all on target.

What a blast. I was totally buzzed. Very zen, albeit I was aiming for the dudes chest & his forehead! I was totally focused on the target, becoming one with the one, relaxing into it, feeling Mrs. WP22 becoming an extension of my own hand ...

I mentioned I was considering, only considering the possibility of flying lessons ... me, who is still terrified of heights ...

I began a 6 week class on Sunday which one of my dearest friends co-teachers. I had no idea that "Fearless Creating" would be precisely what I needed at this point in my life.

As a result of our first session, I have practically reduced my garden-of-dead-ferns to stumps, cleaned most of it out, prepped two canvases for painting, reorganized the inside patio ... 'fearlessly releasing my wildness. My creative ya yas!"

I am ending this day watching Watson, the computer, play Jeapardy against two humans. Watson has $36,000 & they hardly have a proverbial pot to pee in!

I do love quick fire games, ha, ha! Shooting, verbal, board ... la di da ... where might I be by the end of the course???

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