It's been just over a month.
The "old" was never normal.
What is "normal" anyway?
The children are doing so well. They had closure with Vic, so very germaine to being able to move on. They also are blessed with wonderfully supportive friends.
Me too. My friends are really there for me now, as the fog & numb begins to subside & feelings begin to surface.
Each day, I negotiate my way through this new chapter in my life, I find my greatest personal comfort, solace & strength comes from our home, so full of memories.
Going through old videos has been wonderfully cathartic. To revive happier moments ... made me feel really great. Watching the skiing video of Vic & I in 1990 - wonderful stuff. It's what I needed to reconnect with the healthy, vital Vic that was.
Yes, YES, Y-E-S!!!
It DOES take time.
It's just irritating as shit hearing it, over & over & all over again.
I am figuring out things day by day, sometimes even moment to moment.
I get my greatest strength & peace from being outside on the patio that Vic built, through each stage of his illness. It was our therapy, our last baby. My ideas, his creative talents.
The wood planks breathe his energy. Each plant & tree has a story to tell. They really do!
We were very, very happy outside, under the stars.
I lay under those same stars nightly, only one of them twinkles a little brighter than the rest.
I smile. I know everything is going to be alright.