Tool Time Tessie

OK, a whole new page has been turned. Look out lumber. Watch out, water. Who balanced the ph in the h20?

Yep. Tool Time Tessie!

Daniel & I finally cleaned the empty hot tub. Used the shop vac (yeah baby!)to empty residual puddles of sudsy water & sand. Making sure the drainage valve was righty very tighty, we filled it up & followed instructions according to the manual.

See, what I found out is that Vic kept meticulous files on EVERYTHING - including all appliances, equipment, etc., for the house.

When in doubt, head first into the filing cabinet.

If that doesn't reveal the answer, I sit & simply ask Vic for guidance.

Next thing you know, I find myself opening a drawer, moving stuff & bingo, there is the answer!

Next on Tool Time Tessie's agenda: charge up the drained battery on the Ryobi 18v electric screwdriver!

What a trip that will be. I already found an old coffee tin full of miscellaneous nails, screws, plugs. This is important because there is an entire drawer of at least 25 boxes each containing job specific hardware. WTF? I just want a simple generic screw!

Hey ho. With a built-in spirit level, Ryobi-san, Mr. Coffee's miscellany & I might become very good friends. I feel the need to hang things. Now that I can, that is ...

Even though the discoveries are fun & exciting, the fact is Vic left a gigantic crater in the middle of my life. The children seem to be handling things better than I am at the moment.

I hear him, feel him, remember him in things all the time - but random things. The triggers I avoid are fine.

It is the unexpected flashback encounters that are ambushing me.

3 months into "the process" & the battlements are feeling the wear & tear of the sieges. Reserves feel like they are depleting instead of being restocked.

Vic was the sails, the rudder, the engine of this family.

Right now, this particular boat is has a body, map & a compass.

Unfortunately, it is just out there, bobbing away. Just to make things worse, the crew (yours truly) is mutineering against the captain (also yours truly).

What a joke!

If only to be one of those people for whom life is black or white. No grey. Simply this or that.

Sadly, for me, I live through all the spectral shades.

Sometimes simultaneously.

Oy vey.

OK, do I have plague or something???

You know things are off when even your recycling is rejected!

Seriously. My recycling was left behind accompanied by a note, telling me to put this with that, the other with the following.

Goodness. I mean, there I have 2 huge bins brimming with things that can be turned into mulch & shoes & bags & siding (OK, I was reaching there). I took the time to forage in my trash compactor for the cans & paper & plastic the children throw out only to have it cast aside next to the road in my snazzy 'Wheel Away" recycling bin on wheels.

Le me recap the rejections of my last 2 days: first, my therapist sends me an email subject: "termination" - never a good way to start any communication: next day, recycling is rejected!

In a nut shell, from the lips of a nut case, with apologies to Cole Porter;

"Can't save myself - can't save the planet.
Let's call the whole thing off!