Sunday, August 30, 2009

"She goes running for the shelter of her mother's little helper ...

G-d has a real sense of humor about Him-Her. I spent the best part of my adult like (20's on) being diagnosed with some form of depression, bipolar, clinical ... all this came with a little piece of white paper upon which was scribbled the likes of lithium, valium, ativan, elavil, etraphon, restoril, halcyon... warm memories of falling asleep with the piece of very dry rye toast,
between my clenched teeth & the unsuspecting inside of a very dry mouth. I clearly remember the voice of my starter husband, his lips close to my ear:

"Karen, chew, chew very slowly. VERY slowly" and like a cow I deliberately masticated it into an unstoppable descent, buoyed along by the glass of milk the wasband kindly offered through a straw.

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None of it really worked. Bandaids of chemical separation. A soft focused curtain of unclarity.

Years, then decades past. I was appropriately hatched, matched & dispatched (Brit classifieds).

3am risings became the norm. A bit more weight than fair considering the extra long walk we took after tapas gigantico. A touch more sensativity. Lethargic fatigue. Volcanic hot flashes. Artic chill down.

Not good.

Enter Estrogen.

Little did I know that my life would change from boo hoo hoo to ooh, la, la within 10 days.

All I ever needed was a schmear of estrogen every day & I just wanted to bake cookies and whistle a happy tune.

"What me worry?" could have been my motto.

A thousand thanks to Allah everynight for the magical cream which makes me feel happy, happy HAPPY.

G-d heards. Started sending down some side effects. And no, not the nice one.


Mean Dr. Lhassie has taken away my nightly smear of bio identical euphoria in a syringe.

I want it back! I love it! It raises my happy!

In the mean time, per Howie Lewis & the News: "I want a new drug, one that just won't quit."

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